At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
