I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
