He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
