i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
