just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
