your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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