He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my being single is dangerous.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
