Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
