I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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