so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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