ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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