Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
cat food counts as protein by the way
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
