remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
