Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
