I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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