waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
