garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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