You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
