why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you had me at cake vodka
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
