it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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