My room smells like vodka and shame
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
