..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
