just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
