Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
