and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
