can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
