Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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