Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
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