Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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