Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
