He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
