spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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