you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
4 words: hood of his car
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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