I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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