a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
