yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My first STD was from a foam party
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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