Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
