so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
