I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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