Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
