Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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