A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
