Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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