If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
