Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
