i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yo dont text me then not text me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
