if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
