My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Couch. On fire.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
