i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
