You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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