dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
