You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
